Dear Future Beings!
We all are facing this pandemic in our countries. But since every human being is different which leads each one of us to perceive things in a different light. My experience is also unique in its own way.
2020 started as a very stressful year for me. One of the few things I was good at that time was absorbing stress from my surrounding and that was the case in the first two and a half months when I was in all my glory, extremely stressed. I clearly remember on March 13, I was preparing for a test I had in academy and my friend texted me saying that the academy has been closed. At that time, lockdown wasn’t announced. Two days later or as I remember it to be, government announced the lockdown.
My quarantine experience was actually very good as I have the talent to stay inside my room for weeks without coming out so it wasn’t difficult for me to stay at home. There were no iftar parties, no meetups and in the first few days everything was shut down except the grocery stores. Initially in Pakistan, situation wasn't as severe as it was in other parts around the globe and some people even used to mock those who took precautions. But eventually the situation became serious.
The only problem (if you call it) I faced was being uncertain about the exams date. Apart from that life was easy and smooth. It might sound a bit weird but the thing is although I didn’t face serious 'real world' problems but before lockdown I wasn't at a very good place mentally and it provided me with an opportunity to finally be able to sit down and figure out where in my life am I going wrong and the reason behind my habit of ghosting my dear ones.
As days went by, seeing other people struggling to make ends meet and despite of trying everything, losing their loved ones and suffering economically made me realize as to how lucky I was and how immature and ungrateful I had been since the past year. This led me to rethink about my purpose in life which was a bit blurred and for now I think my purpose is to help the under-privileged. Before lockdown, I hadn’t made peace with the fact that my existence is meaningless and in the grand scheme of things, insignificant. It affected me in a way that I stopped putting my best efforts in the things I did. But I realized that this is the very thing that makes life interesting and rather than being a crybaby, I should focus on making this life as fun as I possibly can, help others, stay content and enjoy this very rare opportunity of living that I have earned without any effort and be a good addition to the universe.
The pandemic has definitely made me more closer to myself, my family and friends(the idea of losing your dear ones is scary enough to do that). This entire pandemic has been very self-revealing and honestly I think it was just what I needed. It is kind of rude to say that because many people suffered in this pandemic and I know it's very inconsiderate for me to say that I needed it, I don't want others who had a tough time to go through 2020 but if someone is like me then they need it because without clarity it is extremely difficult to survive in a world where everyone seems to know the best for you. These things might seem basic to anyone who is reading it and I knew them before too but knowing and realizing are very different. Moreover, I have found some ways to deal with stress so now I am not like I used to be.
The only thing that bothers me is not being able to experience University life in the way I should be experiencing it- currently it is all about assignments, quizzes, attend online lectures, worry about attendance. I hope that at least on-campus classes resume, it is painful to sit in front of a laptop all day and it definitely is disturbing my sleep. Online learning is chaotic. So dear future people, I hope this gave you an insight of a spoiled teenager's experience. I don't know how things are going to be in the near future. I hope we all are capable to deal with it in a sensible way. But I am glad about the way this pandemic has revealed the excessive and irrelevant practices we all follow and how important it is to have a family.
Yours sincerely,
Zainab Zahid
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Aero-19B