Hello! My name is Amna. Right now, I’m studying in IST, but let’s rewind to March of 2019, when I was struggling to decide what exactly I was supposed to do with my life. I had big entry tests and exams coming up, and those were all I had been thinking about for months.On March 14th, 2020, I remember coming home after giving my SAT exam and realizing that a lockdown is being imposed. Suddenly our lives were turned upside down, and first of all it made me realize how pointless overthinking and stressing about the future is, when everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Honestly, staying inside wasn’t really something difficult for me. As an only child, one of the things you learn from the start is to never get bored when you’re alone, or at home. I considered it a break after two tiresome years of fsc, and I found something to do everyday, like reading, drawing, trying out new skills, binge-watching shows, exercising, spending time with my family or just socializing online. In June, my parents and I caught the coronavirus, but fortunately it was just a mild case. We recovered soon after, and I was doing just fine, both physically and mentally.
Or so I thought. I had my first emotional blow when I was rejected from the university for which I had really prepared a lot to get enrolled. I know it’s a pretty common thing, but you see, I had some bad memories associated with the place I was in mentally for the past few years, and I was just craving for closure and something that would help me move on. I don’t know if it was this rejection that triggered them, but those thoughts came back, and suddenly I wasn’t doing just fine anymore. Being locked at home with those thoughts wasn’t exactly helping, and this is the first time I felt caged inside my home due to the pandemic. I messed up another entry test, which was another blow, and I was left waiting for any news that would change something.
That news came in the form of an email, telling me I had been accepted into IST. I thought it over a lot, and finally decided to choose IST. If I’m being honest, at that time I wouldn’t have considered it to be exactly a “remarkable incident”, but it gave me the ability to close a chapter of my life and overcome my pessimistic thoughts by finding solace in the fact that Allah Almighty planned out the best for me, and just like that, I had hope for good things to happen.
But alas, that hope didn’t really last long, as I faced probably the biggest difficulty I had ever faced because of this pandemic. I realized studying online as a freshman was extremely challenging, and I felt like no one seemed to understand that. Countless times, I had my resolve weaken and I had to question whether this was the right path for me, who is just an average student. Even now, I occasionally feel frightened of what the coming days have entail for me and if I’ll actually be able to fully get used to studying online if this continues (hopefully not). I just hope for the best in the future, and I hope that we can all overcome our shortcomings in “learning” when this pandemic is over.
That was my own experience, and Alhamdulillah I had it much better than so many others. To some of us, this pandemic was just about staying at home comfortably, but to many out there, it cost them everything. I saw first hand, how this pandemic ruined businesses and struck people with poverty. For the future, I hope that we can all raise funds to help those in dire need and that when the pandemic is over, the government can take some steps to help restart the businesses that lost a lot of revenue. I hope we can all grow together from this mess, learn to be more grateful (I certainly did) and optimistic, and try to make the most of what we have.
Sincerely,
Amna
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