Hello friends,
It is kind of hard, to sum up, everything that I went through, but I’ll try my best.
Everything happens for a reason, a good reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they’re right, goals fade so that you can acknowledge things much more important, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
No matter how hard it has been to deal with this pandemic if you ask me whether I want anything to happen differently, I will straight up say no, not a thing except if it was possible to bring back the ones we lost. I do not want to change the process I went through, the realizations I had, the life-changing decisions I made. I would never give up all those contemplating times, the sleepless yet thoughtful nights. Nothing can replace the things I learned; about myself, about the people I love, and most importantly what to appreciate in life.
I still remember it was March 11, 2020, when I was sent back home from my university. Little did I know, this would be the beginning of a period that would change my perception of life. I used to be not realistic believing everything was possible. I think self-acceptance is where I lacked. I wished to go back to the world I wanted, away from the things that constantly reminded me that whatever you are trying to achieve is not who you are. Alas, the pandemic didn’t allow me to go back. Not that I hated who I was, I just wanted things to change. I wanted things to be better. I was and still am defining the most important chapters of my life. The chapters on which the ending depends. I had to strive hard for the ending to be great. But, I forgot about the most important ingredient, the very first step, acceptance. I wanted to define my future without acknowledging my present.
With all this in my mind, the lockdown continued. Days became weeks and weeks became months. I was close to reality no matter how much I wanted to stay away, I was forced to accept it and only then take my step towards making things better. Trust me, I cannot be more grateful for this. I even made life-changing decisions but I am so glad that I had the chance to undo them. Why am I glad about changing my mind? Because if I hadn’t, the story of my life would not have been mine. There would have been nothing to tell the world about myself in my own story.
The lockdown period was a time of realization for me. I realized how necessary it is to acknowledge who you truly are and only then work to achieve what you want from life. I learned how to be selfless seeing my parents support me through the biggest decisions I had ever made, seeing them ready to go to any extent for me. I found how essential it is sometimes to fulfill what your loved ones expect from you. I realized how important emotions are for a person - law, medicine, business, these are noble pursuits but love, romance, beauty; are what we stay alive for.
For someone, it might be just a year but for me, it was a year with lessons of a lifetime. Right now, as I am writing this blog, I feel satisfied. Satisfied with not what I faced but with the fact that how it was faced. I feel hopeful. Hopeful for the future because I am sure it is not just me who managed to face this pandemic. If you are reading this right now, I want to let you know that you, my friend, have been stronger than you needed to be and a future that you desire awaits for you.
With love,
A friend